The Responsible Way to Not Be Sensible
My social media bios won’t tell you this but I do have a day job in central London. A regular 9-2-5 with a lunch break, commute and everything.
At the beginning of the year I was at a kind of cross roads. I realised I was turning 28 (hopes the tears I cry will moisturise me so people keep mistaking me for 24) and I wasn’t exactly where I wanted to be. But I had stability and enough to sustain a fairly decent social life, enough to save. I was buying my lunch every day like I was somebody. It was all very sensible. The city doesn’t offer you a lot of time to risk freely. It's great and it's unforgiving. It can be very easy to get sucked into the fast paced nature of the place and fear what might happen if you step out a little bit. Though I have a lot of privileges. I live at home, don’t have dependents and I am of fairly sound mind and health. And while I hope the first two change at some point in the future, I am well aware that I am not there now.
I was also so frustrated. I really didn’t have the time to dedicate to all the things in my head. I was getting home and it was dark. I had to cram eating, resting, being a good daughter and friend and creativity into a couple of hours each evening. It was like I was running into a brick wall and I was getting exhausted. And I felt like I was tip-toeing on the edge, like I was on a precipice. Though I have a lot of privileges. I live at home, don’t have dependents and I am of fairly sound mind and health. And while I hope the first two change at some point in the future, I am well aware that I am not there now.
I knew something needed to give and so I made an application to go part time.
Those close to me expressed a range of reactions; from confused shock (the mother) to excited go-for-it squeals (my friend who also freelances). I did feel I had to shut out the noise a bit and trust my instinct. I did have the luxury of a brief moment in time to take a risk. I am not the most reckless person I know, but I’m not the complete opposite either.
I worked out finances and how much I would save. Then how much I could save. I made sure I had a space to work and a system to organise my time.
It wasn’t the craziest decision I could have made by far, but it was a definite step in a direction I’ve been staring at for years. A good couple of months into it and I can safely say it was the best thing to do. I have a lot more energy in both my creativity and while I’m at work the rest of the week too. It feels very good to have dedicated time to plan and organise. I can create in daylight! I can get some real motion on projects I’ve been mulling over.
I was responsibly not sensible and it’s worked out pretty good so far. Have you taken any risks lately?